Lingerdog's World

I have been doing a series of sermons, messages, whatever you want to call them, it's just what was put on my heart to write about, what I felt moved to write, this is the third in the series.


Have you ever been in a church, and maybe not dressed to a standard that seems to have been set in said church? Have you ever felt ostracized for the manner in which you dress in a church if you didn’t fit with some standard set before your time?
I know I have felt this way in the past, and have heard of others feeling this same way. It isn’t a good feeling when you feel you are treated as less of a person because you don’t wear a fancy suit, or dress pants, or because you just show up in a t-shirt and jeans.
As Christian people we should make sure that we aren’t doing things like this.
We don’t know from what background or circumstances a person has come from. They could be jobless, homeless, and broke monetarily or even broken internally.
We don’t know what trials and tribulations have gone on in a person’s life, and yet far too often, people will look down upon a person who came in with mud stained shoes, and maybe a frayed leg on their pants.
I always want to go to the Bible for guidance in how I behave in life, for it is the Infallible Word of God.
So What does the Bible have to say on this matter?
James 2:1 My brethren, have not the faith of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Lord of glory, with respect of persons.
2:2 For if there come unto your assembly a man with a gold ring, in goodly apparel, and there come also a poor man in vile raiment;
2:3 And ye have respect to him that weareth the gay clothing, and say unto him, Sit thou here in a good place; and say to the poor, Stand thou there, or sit here under my footstool:
2:4 Are ye not then partial in yourselves, and are become judges of evil thoughts?
2:5 Hearken, my beloved brethren, Hath not God chosen the poor of this world rich in faith, and heirs of the kingdom which he hath promised to them that love him?
2:6 But ye have despised the poor. Do not rich men oppress you, and draw you before the judgment seats?
2:7 Do not they blaspheme that worthy name by which ye are called?
2:8 If ye fulfill the royal law according to the scripture, Thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself, ye do well:
2:9 But if ye have respect to persons, ye commit sin, and are convinced of the law as transgressors.
What this says to me is this, that if a man of fine clothes comes into your church and also a man of little, dressed in little more than rags, and you sit the well dressed man in a good seat, while shuffling the other man into some corner out of sight of those in attendance, you have become judgmental about these things.
God chose the poor to as rich in faith and heirs to the kingdom of Heaven. But in doing this we have judged the poor much as the rich man judges us. In fulfilling the law of the scriptures we are to love our neighbor as ourselves, and that is good.
But in choosing to judge and show respect to one person over another, we have sinned.
There are many fine Christians out there that do not do this, and I would encourage all of us to act in this manner.
But to those who have felt this way, just know, that God loves you, he sees beyond the clothes on your back and the shoes on your feet, he sees all the way to who you are, the beauty he created inside each of us. The outside is just the packaging.
1 Samuel 16:7 But the Lord said unto Samuel, Look not on his countenance, or on the height of his stature; because I have refused him: for the Lord seeth not as man seeth; for man looketh on the outward appearance, but the Lord looketh on the heart.
Matthew 4:19 And he saith unto them, Follow me, and I will make you fishers of men.
4:20 And they straightway left their nets, and followed him.
4:21 And going on from thence, he saw other two brethren, James the son of Zebedee, and John his brother, in a ship with Zebedee their father, mending their nets; and he called them.
4:22 And they immediately left the ship and their father, and followed him.
Did they run home and change clothes? Did they run to the barber for a quick trim and shave? Did they at least go wash the smell of fish off their hands right quick? No, it says, “They immediately left the ship…, and followed him.”

I was feeling down, this is what came out of it, don't know if you'll like it, but I think the title is the best I have ever come up with yet. And if I've never said it before, thanks for reading, you could be off doing so many other things and you took the time to read something I created, thanks. God bless you all.

The Uncountable Burden Of immeasurable Loss


Empty like a broken heart

Crushed upon the rocks of love

To the sound of brass bells

Ringing in some distant courtyard

As the gallows are prepared

And the hangman readies the noose

Soon it will meet its fated victim

Who waits patiently in his cell

For the appointed hour

And a brief respite from cruel

Unjust, uncaring, unfeeling

Fate

Like the turtle dove of mourning

In the foggy reaches of the mind

A cry is lifted to the heavens

For mercy at this punishment

So unfitting it is

So callous

And yet just

A little late in coming

All avoided with a different answer

I do, I don’t

Flee this crimson heart

My blood falls as tears

Into this page I write my sorrows

For it was never too late

It was never meant to survive this long

You didn’t understand

Couldn’t see how I hurt

What you had done to me

Reaching into me

Pulling out the things I held most dear

Trust, companionship

Love

And trampled upon them

With your cloven hooves

Talking to me with your forked tongue

You smile at me

With yellowed teeth

Still not getting it

The pain you caused

I never let you see me cry

You would have fed upon my sorrow

And I would have been left dry

A shell of what I was

And that would have made you happy

For sure it would have

To see me crying

Over the corpse of our life

You could have laughed in my face

Spit on my pain

And you still don’t understand

It’s you that did this to me

Left me in this place

So when you ask me why

If it’s the memory of you

That saddens me so

No,

It’s just the uncountable burden

Of immeasurable loss.

I guess I need to come up with a name for this story at some point.


It wasn’t always like this, there was a time when we were feared and respected, now all we have is fear, and for good reason.
His name was Steiger. He was evil to his core. In his day non-vampires knew of us, were open to us, and we coexisted rather peaceably for the most part. When we had to feed on a human we always fed on one from the tribes that didn’t believe in us.
When Steiger was born the number of non-believers were dwindling to nothing. Steiger seeing what was happening told anyone that would listen of the coming catastrophe. He said that eventually the people would realize what was happening and demand it stop before all of them were dead. When we didn’t stop, because we couldn’t, the people and any that allied with them would rebel and wipe us out.
The council of ten warned him of his heresy, and the consequences if he did not maintain his silence going forward. He was causing the very tensions he had warned of.
Steiger was of the Draco tribe, a particularly violent tribe already, Steiger quickly rose through the ranks with his blood thirsty nature in the hunts.
Once he was named commander of the Draco legion all was lost for our people. He over through the council by force naming himself leader of the new oligarchy. Daily raids were made against the towns, blood running in the streets at night.
Hiding did no good for the houndmen had been taken captive and put to work early in Steiger’s campaign. Their keen sense of smell was unmatched in the entire world and with a hell rider holding the chain, it was only a matter of time before all were found and killed, or enslaved.
Steiger showed no mercy throughout his conquest of the land, but in his old age started to soften to the young female humans. He always kept two or three around as pets. The humans learning of this began to offer their own children as sacrifice to keep their town safe.
The humans were building a resistance, knowing of Steiger’s weakness, but as of yet having no leader or clear way to exploit the weakness.
Steiger had entered the town of Noth, and saw in the field a girl he wanted. She was maybe two years old, and Stegier knew he needed her as his pet. He dismounted from his hellbeast, a cross between a horse and a lion, and vicious.
Steiger approached the girl, and called softly for her to come to him. Seeing him in the evening light as nothing more than a strange man calling for her, she ran for her house calling for her father.
Baer Wilson was her father, and he was a sun hardened man from days spent working in his field. He only had two possessions to his name, a white kerchief his wife had passed to him on her death bed, and a claw from a hellbeast he had found dead in his field one morning.
He didn’t know what had killed it, nor what had removed it from his field before the next mornings light, he only knew that it held warmth even on the coldest nights, and was sharper than any blade he had ever known.
He had strapped it onto his walking stick and used it as a scythe to cut a path wherever he needed.
At the cry of his daughter he stood and grabbed it from the table where it rested. She shouldn’t be in any danger, it wasn’t full dark so no vampires should be out yet, but even so he moved outside with his scythe in hand.
Looking up the hill to where his daughter was now racing towards him and over her head, he saw the problem, Steiger. Unlike most vampires, Steiger had feasted on enough humans to be very powerful, and relished in showing his strength by going out before full dark.
Thinking not of himself, Baer raced toward Steiger swinging his scythe over his head. He raced passed his daughter and in closing the steps between he and Steiger, he swung slicing Steiger across the face, peeling his cheek down to his jaw bone.
Steiger stopped, shocked at his vulnerability, at the fact he was bleeding.
He spoke then to Baer saying, “Do you value your life, if so give me your daughter and I will forgive your transgression against me.”
Baer turned and saw she was safely in the house before answering, “You will never get my daughter while I am alive.”
Steiger laughed in derision, “you really think you can stop me, I have destroyed countries, rid hillsides of inhabitants, obliterated villages, and you think you, one man, can stop me?”
“If you think it’s so easy, why have you stopped, if you can take me, then take me!”
Baer swung again cutting into his throat.
Steiger collapsed in the field. Baer bent and cut the head from Steiger’s body. His hellbeast was gone, loosed from the spell it had been under as soon as Steiger died.
He took the head inside and placed it on the table as he stoked the fire, the only sure way to permanently kill a vampire was to destroy the head by fire. Even now the eyes were moving about staring at him, the mouth moved, but without lungs for air, and vocal chords, no words came forth. Baer prodded the fire until it was roaring. He turned to retrieve the head and saw his daughter poking her finger towards the head.
“No,” he screamed, but it was too late, Steigers head had bitten her on the back of the hand, and was holding on as her blood coursed into it’s mouth and out onto the table.
Grabbing his scythe he cut the head in half to release her from the head’s hold.
But it was to late, her skin was turning pale already as her blood ran out onto the floor.
He threw the head into the fire, and lifted his daughter to throw her into the fire as well, to spare her the life coming to her, but couldn’t do it. He carried her into her room, and then locked the door. The change would be coming, and she would be hungry until she was old enough to control it.
Grabbing his scythe he saddled up his mare and rode. Not a safe thing to do at night, but he had someone to go and talk to, the only person that could help.
Is story would be spread far and wide, of how he killed the mighty Steiger, about the weapon he used. Many more would show up at his house in the weeks to come, they had found their leader, and with Steiger gone, the vampires would be pushed back into the deepest recesses of the night, nearly to extinction under the leadership of Baer.
But where he went on this night, none ever knew, for he went to the castle of the council of ten, to the only two surviving vampires from the council. Ower, an old vampire who had seen many things and Franscesca.
He told her of what had happened and together they went back to his house.
Franscesca entered the room without trepidation and found the girl hiding in the corner, angry and hungry.
“I brought this for you,” she said, tossing a rabbit on the floor at her feet.
The child grabbed it and hungrily bit into it before it could hop away.
“Do you know who I am,” she asked.
The child still suckling of the rabbit shook her head no.
“Honey, I’m your mother.”
At this the girl stopped eating and stared.
“I was turned shortly after your birth, and I’ve missed you so much, My name is Franscesca, but you can call me mom if you want, but we have to go, I need to take you to the nursery right away so they can keep you fed, do you understand?”
“Yes mommy.”
“Okay, what do you want me to call you?”
“Abigail.” Was her reply.

Well, this is my first blog posting, I'm going to be writing a story, who knows how large it will ultimately be, but this is the first installment, call it the introduction if you will. Check it out, let me know what you think.

Sometimes my life feels like a Taylor Swift song. What do I mean, well I’m the nice quiet girl who really understands the guy who is with the wrong girl. The guy is Luke, he’s everything I’ve ever wanted, for as long as I can remember I’ve known he should be mine, but he’s with Jasmine. It’s hard because they are both my friends. Neither of them knows of my feelings.

I have lived my life in isolation from most people, the truth is they just don’t get people like me. The ones that know me, know I’m not all that different, but most people just turn their heads or avert their eyes thinking, there goes that girl.

My friend Spence is the only person that knows of my feelings for Luke. Spence is my soulmate.

I don’t mean that how most people do, I don’t love him, and he doesn’t love me, I mean that we are destined to be together, tied together as tightly as any man and wife, sharing our thoughts, dreams and emotions. We live through our struggles supporting each other when necessary.

We are here for each other like brother and sister, but closer to the bond of husband and wife, but without the romantic feelings that come with that bond.

I would never act on my feelings for Luke, he loves Jasmine, even though she is not right for him. Seriously he likes sports, he likes hunting, she’s too much of a girly girl. I hope that doesn’t offend anyone, it’s just that she isn’t going to get dirty, and she doesn’t do insects.

I’m at home in the forest. I love to lie down in a meadow near our house at night and just watch the stars as they swirl across the night sky. But none of it matters to Luke right now.

I remember the first time I saw Luke. I was three and as I stood in my crib in the nursery, there he stood in his crib across the room from me. When he met my eyes, he smiled at me. I laughed loudly at this although I can’t for the life of me remember why now. He seemed confused by my reaction so I smiled back at him.

We were buddies from that day forward. My mother tells me that we were inseparable, on the playground, at school, at home. We were always together.

Until the day I turned 13 that is.

We have a ceremony at the age of thirteen to mark our entrance into adulthood. Luke had gone through his a few weeks before. It’s very similar to a birthday party with a few eccentricities thrown in.

Me and mother had gone shopping for a special dress for the occasion, and we had found a perfect one.

It was pale blue, made of satin with a pink silk ribbon tied about the waist. It went all the way to the floor, as was our custom. The sleeves were just below the elbow.

I waited all morning for Luke to show up, but when he did, my world began to fall apart. Jasmine was on his arm, every stunning inch of her lithe body. Her golden hair falling to a spot between her shoulder blades. Her eyes a crystalline blue I have seen nowhere else in nature. Her skin looked as if it had never been kissed by the sun.

I knew the battle for Luke’s heart had already been lost to me, there was no way for me to compete with her.

My hair was short and black, cut by my mother who insisted there was no reason to spend money on it in town when she could just do it herself. My eyes are brown, hid in slits in my face that hardly open to allow in the light of the world. My skin was nothing to write home about.

I wanted to attack her, rip her hair out and throw her to the ground and out of my home.

I calmed down by reminding myself that this wasn’t some junior high melodrama, this was real life, and mother had spent most of our savings on this dress for me. What kind of daughter would I be if I destroyed it before the ceremony?

I collected my thoughts, then smiled and waved at them before going to the preparation room for the ceremony.

There is no name for the ceremony anymore, at one time they had a name for it, but as our people learned to speak English and the old languages were forgotten the pronunciation of the name for the ceremony was forgotten as well.

There are many reasons for doing the ceremony to this day, but the one most talked about is for our introduction into adulthood.

I stood in the preparation room as the hand maidens placed my veil upon my head, and readied myself for what was to come.

Murmuring arose from outside, it was time.

The double doors opened before me, torches set into the walls around the inner circle lit the ground.

I stepped forward, walking to the center of the circle, about thirty feet all together from one side to the other, where a marble table awaited me.

Hoods were removed from those in attendance, that they might see and judge my attainment of adulthood.

A horn blew loudly as behind me the door was locked I had come in. Ahead of me another door was swung open as the horn blew again.

Two hooded figures led in a boy, he appeared to be my age, or maybe a little younger. The boy was crying, but that wasn’t any of my concern at this moment. The two hooded figures placed the boy on the table before me, strapping his arms down.

The boy began to wrench his body about and scream for help, kicking his legs in frantic fashion. It saddened me to see him so worked up, his screams bit through to my core. I scanned the crowd. No one was smiling at this, it was just something that had to be done.

I leaned down to him and whispered, “You can calm down, you don’t have to scream so much.”

“Yes I do,” he spat at me, “you people are going to kill me.” He began to scream again.

“Shhh, I assure you we have no intention of killing you,” I whispered.

“Then why am I tied up?”

“It’s just part of the process, it’ll all be over in a second and you won’t feel a thing.”

“Do you promise?”

He seemed to be calming, he had stopped kicking his legs finally, but there was still so much fear in his eyes. “Yes, I promise,” I lied to him.

He seemed to relax, so I leaned down over him. “I need to reach way over to unhook you, can you stay still while I do that,” I asked him.

“Yes,” he whispered back, grateful that he was about to be set free.

I stretched my arm out over him to the clasp, in doing so my veil slid across his face and my head was above his. “Hold still for one more second, I’ve almost got it,” I said as I leaned my head down closer to him, reaching for the clasp.

“What’s your name,” I asked him.

“Spencer.”

“That’s a nice name, but do you mind if I call you Spence?”

He seemed to be thinking about it for a minute before he answered, “Sure, I guess its okay.”

“That’s good,” I smiled at him.

“You have a pretty smile,” he said.

“Thanks,” I said just as my hand found the clasp. I ripped it back releasing him from his bondage, but at once bringing my arm around his back and burying my face into his neck. Biting down, I felt his skin give way beneath my teeth, the hot flow of blood as it poured into my mouth.

He jerked in my arms as he realized what I had done. I tightened my grip as he struggled to stand, trying to beat me off of him with his fist.

I sucked harder on his neck as the blood pumped. He struggled to run for the door as I dig my heels in flipping him back over my body and following him to the ground.

He gasped as he hit and struggled no more. I opened my mouth to let the blood flow in more quickly.

After a few minutes, it was over. I stood and scanned the crowd, they were all talking amongst themselves and nodding. I looked down at myself. Blood covered my chest and my gown had been ripped down the side.

I gasped for air, but felt so alive, maybe felt it for the first time in my life. I was an adult now, never again could I be the child I had been moments before.

I ran my tongue over my blood soaked teeth, felt the two new protrusions from the upper gum line. I looked up at the crowd and smiled my crimson lips at them.

I’m a vampire, my name is Abigail.